A Precious Reason
by HistoryNut25
Summary: William has been very depressed lately and is contemplating suicide. Ronald has been going around, dating all the ladies in the office. They soon find that they are each each other's precious reason to change their ways as they are brought together. William/Ronald. Warnings: depression and thoughts of suicide.


**A/N: This is an RP that I did with Deona Lindholm. She's the one that did all the editing. XD**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Kuroshitsuji. **

* * *

A Precious Reason

William could barely function as he tried to work. All the memories that he'd kept locked up were vividly playing in his mind. He felt an extreme sense of guilt for how he had treated the others in the office. He had been too tough, hadn't he? And dear god, the things he had done in his human life. He wanted desperately to kill himself.

Ronald Knox came by the office with a stack of paperwork. He had gotten his collections done on time, with no calamities, for once. Although his senior, Grell, had tried to offload his own paperwork onto him…again.

As the two-toned blonde came in, he said, "You in, sir? I've got the paperwork already done and—"

His ears had caught onto low sounds that wrenched at his heart and caught his breath.

"B-boss!"

William tried to hide the evidence that he was crying. "What is it?"

Ronald closed the door carefully, locked it and set down the papers elsewhere before taking the closest seat to the onyx-haired Reaper. "What's going on?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing. I'm fine." William pretended everything was fine.

The younger of the two reached out and gently brushed away a stray tear from the elder's cheek. "This doesn't look 'fine'," he said quietly, "Sir…" then tried a different tack, "William…I'm honestly worried. I won't tell anyone…so…please…"

"I really am fine. I just got something in my eye," William lied, but it didn't even convince himself.

Ronald didn't look convinced at all. "All due respect, but it didn't _sound_ like you had something in your eye, either."

"That's all it was, Knox!" William snapped. He immediately felt guilty for it. Why did he always have to yell at others?

Ronald winced visibly at the snap as though he had been hit.

"I'm sorry," William apologized quietly, "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"No, I'm the one that should say sorry. I shouldn't have pushed it, even though I'm worried about you."

"Why are you worried about me? You don't have to be."

Ronald let out a pshh sound and shook his head, his normal expression present for a moment before becoming more serious. "I've always looked up to you, you know that. That and admire ya. But...I also care about you."

William was shocked. "You care about me? Even when I yell at you all the time?"

"Hell yeah, I do! I mean yeah everyone tends to badmouth you about the yelling and overtime, and I've been guilty of it a time or two, but...that don't change the fact that I care about you."

"I..." William sighed, not wanting to reveal how he was feeling. He had never been one to express his emotions well. He just kept things bottled up inside until they exploded. He'd had to take vacations here and there over the years because he had had breakdowns.

Ronald slowly and gingerly reached out for one of William's hands while looking into his eyes. _Is it my imagination or is he trembling? _the blonde wondered as he took it. "I told you, William...I won't tell anyone, not even Grell-senpai."

"There is nothing wrong." William pulled his hand away. He was trembling and he didn't want Ronald to know.

Ronald still wasn't convinced and didn't move from his seat. That feeling as the elder man pulled his hand back..._Can't have been my imagination, not that time. _He said softly, "Worries me, especially to see you like this..." the rest he added in a low whisper, "and hurts to hear you crying..."

"I wasn't crying. I'm okay. I'll be fine."

Ronald sighed but nodded and said, "If you ever need to talk...I'll listen." He added, "I meant what I said, I care about you. You being treated the way you are, especially by the others...and left alone...it's not right."

William looked up at Ronald, confused. "What do you mean treated the way I am?"

That question made the blonde gain the expression of deer-caught-in-headlights for a few moments as he debated which would be worse: coming fully clean with what he meant or going a little more roundabout. He sighed and then said, "I know you've got to have heard some of the comments said at least sometimes when your back's turned. Eric-senpai's just more blunt than others."

"Oh, I know what they say about me. It doesn't bother me. I do not care what the others think of me as long as I am an efficient boss." William was half telling the truth. He normally didn't care, but for whatever reason, he was caring today. He couldn't explain it, but everything his subordinates said about him bothered him now.

"Including stuff like 'demon in a reaper's body' or 'Inhuman, emotionless tyrant', huh?" He didn't say it, but Ronald had actually decked the ones that had dared to say those particular insults.

"Yes, I hear just about everything. I also heard you hurt the people who said those. Is this true?" William raised a brow.

"Only the ones that were really over the top," he replied honestly, "Like the 'Demon in a Reaper's body' comment."

William shrugged it off. "It does not bother me. I would rather be a competent boss and hated than loved and inefficient at my job."

"Maybe...but to the point where you're completely alone, on and off the clock, and having to deal with all our messes alone? _That's_ not right."

"I've been doing it for years. I've gotten used to it. The London dispatch seems to get mostly incompetent workers. Not always, but most of the time."

"Still don't make it right," the blonde insisted.

William shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

The blonde moved a little closer and asked quietly, "How come you're saying one thing...but your eyes are saying something else...?"

"They are not," William lied.

Ronald shook his head, "I may not be that good at some things, and I'm reckless, but when it comes to people I care about...that's another story. Hate to say it, but those eyes are betraying your body."

"No they are not," William insisted, trying to convince himself more than Ronald. He hated that he couldn't even control his own eyes.

"Yeah, right, that's why your body looks like business as usual, but your eyes say you're a breath away from shattering..."

"I am not going to shatter!" No! He was too tough for that. He could take the pain.

Ronald sighed and gently but slowly reached out to simply lay his hand on the older man's. "Okay, maybe not shatter, but you get the idea," he said quietly, "Please...I wish I knew what was going on..." His expression unknowingly changed as he spoke, becoming unguarded. The care was visible in his own Reaper green eyes.

William saw the care in the other's eyes and had to look away. He couldn't stand to see that. "I can't tell you..."

"Why not...? Think that I'd tell people...?" he asked quietly.

"No, not that. It's because..." Because then he would have to admit to himself that it was all real.

Ronald gently moved his hand from William's to his cheek and gently turned his face until their eyes met again, the younger man's eyes still the same.

"Because why...?"

William felt tears well up at the corner of his eyes and tried desperately to keep them at bay. But he couldn't. He let out a sob. That sob was quickly followed by another. And another. And another, until his body was racked with sobs.

Ronald didn't say anything, merely moved his seat as close as humanly possible to William and held him close.

William tried to stop the sobs, but they wouldn't cease. It was so embarrassing.

The younger man thought nothing of the sort as he kept holding the older man, at times running a hand gently through his hair. He whispered in soft, reassuring tones.

William eventually calmed down to sniffles.

Ronald whispered, "I won't asked what happened if you don't want to tell me...but...I promise you, William, I'm not about to let you go through things alone again."

"I've always gone through things alone," William rasped, "I don't know any other way."

There was a tiny smirk on the blonde's face as he said, "Well, guess you'll have to learn a new way then, huh? Cause I'm not budging on this. Nope." His hand gently and slowly ran through his black locks.

William nodded, "I know..."

Ronald tightened his embrace a little and chuckled. "There's no talking the Knox out of some things, ya know. The way I feel about ya is another one of 'em."

"The way you feel about me?"

"Of course. I told you...I care about ya, a lot. No way I'd do stuff like knock down out-of-line badmouthin' edjits and _this _if I didn't..."

William nodded. He then sighed. "I'm sorry that you had to see me cry..."

"Hey, it's okay. I swear on _your _Scythe, my lips are sealed. Better me than one of the others, like Eric or Grell..."

"The whole office would have known by now."

"And definitely better than you going through this alone...Gods, if something were to happen to you, I don't know how I'd be able to handle it." Even if he couldn't look Will in the eye right then, the tone in his voice made the sentiment very clear.

"I would rather have gone through this alone..." William said quietly.

"Not anymore, you're not. This kind of thing alone can cause suicides..." He moved back only enough to look Will in the eye. The care in Ronald's eyes was strong, and laced with something stronger. "I meant it about how I feel...I lo..." He cleared his throat and gently used a hand to brush away some of the tears.

"Maybe I want to die," William muttered.

"Why?!"

"Because I...I just don't want to be here anymore..."

"How come? What brought this on?" he asked as he gently brushed at his cheek.

"I...I don't know..."

"How come you don't want to be here anymore...?" he asked, voice soft and curious, putting the damp hand on William's shoulder and used his other one to gently brush the tear-streaks on the second cheek.

"All the horrible things I've done..." William murmured.

"What do you mean?" he asked carefully.

"I...there's a lot of bad things that I did in my past. Things I do not wish to disclose."

Ronald nodded. "I can relate to that," he replied sympathetically, "Stuff we've done in our human lives that no doubt we wouldn't exactly be proud of now."

Not exactly being proud of things done in his human life was a huge understatement.

"That's one can of worms that stays closed as far as I'm concerned." There was the serious-as-a-heart-attack tone in the boy's voice.

William nodded. "It is." He sighed deeply.

"I take it it's not just...that...though...has it got anything to do with any Idiots around here?"

"No. They do not bother me at all," William lied.

Ronald gave a frown at that. Had the man forgotten that when it came to the ones he cared about he could see through them? He grumbled in a low voice.

"Don't look at me like that. They really don't bother me." William didn't understand why their words even did bother him. They really shouldn't have.

"Normally, yeah, for sure...too much of anything like it would be the last straw, ya know?"

"I know, but I'm telling you, it has not gotten to that point."

"I hope not...and I'll do my part to make sure of that one." the look of care was back in his face and eyes as he said that

"Why do you care so much?" William looked at Ronald.

_Now _he looked a bit flustered as he quickly thought of a way to word the sentiments. "You might think of this as silly...but..."

"But what? What's silly?"

Ronald took a deep breath and looked William in the eye, expression unguarded and open. "Because I love you."

William looked at him, shocked. "You what?"

"You heard me. I...I love you. Gods help me, I honestly do." He took a breath and said, "I know how you react whenever Grell-senpai talks about that stuff, so I figured that you'd think I was being silly, but-"

"I don't think it's silly. It is when Sutcliff says it because it's only infatuation and he means none of it."

"Well I can tell you...I mean every word of it."

"I..." William blushed slightly. Just how did he feel about Ronald? He wasn't quite sure.

"You don't have to say anything...you did ask me why I care so much, after all. But...it is what it is. I love you and I sure as hell don't want you to die."

William pursed his lips. He had no idea what to say.

Ronald remembered that he was still holding the older man close and started to move back and get up when he felt something stop him.

William held Ronald in place, not wanting him to leave. He didn't know why he felt the urge to do this, but he followed it.

The two-toned blonde looked at him, a little puzzled.

"Don't go..." he found himself whispering.

Ronald nodded and stayed put. "I'm not going anywhere," he said quietly and simply wrapped his arms around the older man. "Good thing I locked the door when I came in."

William laid his head down on Ronald's shoulder. He felt like such a child for doing so, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

The younger Reaper certainly wasn't about to comment on any such thing. Right now, the only thing that mattered to him was in the room, in his arms. Paperwork, even collections could go fly a kite as far as he was concerned. Somewhat distant, he could hear Grell approaching and before he could even think of whether or not to deal with it, Alan was intercepting.

For once, William wasn't paying attention. He was more focused on being comforted by the younger reaper.

"You're not alone," Ronald whispered softly, "Not anymore. I am, and will be right there, with you...and no matter how the edjits get when you crack down on us...I love you, just as you are."

"Thank you, Ronald," William breathed.

A hand gently ran through the dark locks as he added, "And when they really get out of line with their guff, they'll get taken 'care of', you can trust me on that."

William knew what he was implying. "Violence is hardly necessary."

"Maybe so...how 'bout this...I'll deal with 'em in other ways, unless they throw the first punch."

"Fair enough. It is important to defend yourself."

There was a soft chuckle at that. "How about I lock up Grell-senpai in a room with either paperwork or his dolls once in a while when he gets to you?"

"Get him off my back? Sounds fine to me."

Soft laughter came at that.-

It was a short time later that there was shouting coming from the cubicles, somewhat high-pitched.

"WHAAAATT?! _TWO Hours_ Overtime _and _the rest of Ronnie's work for the day? William, my darling, why such treatment...?"

William sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, not wanting to deal with the annoying redhead.

A voice from behind replied with, "C'mon, did ya really think you could skip the paperwork all the time, Sempai?"

William sighed in relief. Hopefully, Ronald would deal with Grell.

"...suppose so...and Ronnie, where were you earlier? I know you went to give Will some paperwork, but Alan wouldn't let anyone go in for at least an hour!"

The response was quick. "All due respect, sempai...it's none of your business."

William continued listening to the conversation, ready to hop in at any moment if he was needed. He didn't want to do so, but he would if he absolutely had to.

"Ugh...you're no fun today, Ronnie...well I'll find out, one way or the other-"

Ronald's expression darkened, becoming serious as he said, "I kinda doubt it. Remember what happened to your chainsaw the last time you were doing that?"

The crimson Reaper's eyes went wide and face pale at the words.

William snorted at that. He couldn't see Grell, but he could just picture his reaction.

"Urrghhh...Oh, fine! I'll stay out of whatever it is..." Grell grabbed the paperwork and stomped off to start his collections.

William chuckled at Grell. The redhead was quite predictable sometimes.

Ronald shook his head, thinking along the same lines. "I'll get some coffee...you take that or tea?" he asked Will.

"I'll have tea," William replied.

"Earl Grey, I'll bet. Okay, I'll be back in a bit," the blonde said, and quickly left. A moment later, a couple of secretaries came by.

"...did you hear? That boy, Knoxie...canceled the dating with us. All he said was that he had 'a very precious reason' for it..."

William frowned, hearing what the secretaries.

"..._precious _reason, huh? Wonder who the lucky gal is?"

"I dunno...might be a lucky guy..."

The two left.

Another couple of moments later, a pair of male workers came by, talking.

"...you believe it? The birds have been buzzing about Knox since clock-in this morning, when he told 'em he wasn't dating 'em any more."

"Yeah, Lang, I heard. _Precious _reason, huh? He's probably swingin' the other way, if you know what I mean."

"What, you mean one of the faggots? Psh...though...come to think of it, Humphries was keeping people away from Mr. Spears' office for a while..."

"Exactly. Betcha 10 pounds he's aimin' to be the boss' new glory hole or somethin'..."

William clenched his jaw, feeling anger swell in his chest. How dare they say that?

"Nah, Thompson, nothin' like that. 15 says he's just shagging to avoid overtime and that he'll go right back to the secretaries in under a month, " Lang replied.

"20. I tell ya, he's tryin' to sleep his way to the top."

"Ok, man, you've got yourself a bet!"

The two came closer to where he was.

William was fuming in anger at this point.

Thompson and Lang arrived at the cubicle, laughing and found a surprise standing right in front of them.

William was red in the face and looked about ready to punch them.

"A-afternoon, Mr. Spears," Lang said, a smile still on his face, "Sutcliffe givin' you problems again, sir?"

"For once, no. But someone else is," he growled.

"Oh? Who, sir?" Thompson asked.

"Ohhh, he must've heard already about that idiot Knox's latest stunts," Lang said to Thompson with a widened grin and a laugh. "Told ya that Spears' a hardass, but a smart hardass."

William snarled at them.

The two men laughed at that comment and Thompson added, "office man-who-" but was cut off.

William slapped Thompson before he could finish his comment. "Don't you dare say that!"

That sent the man back a bit and shut both up. Lang's eyes went wide in surprise. "Whoa there, now. What's the big idea? Looks like Thompson may guessed wrong, but you gotta admit that Knox _is _a big time slacker and party animal. Just like him to pull this kind of stunt to avoid more overtime."

"You can't just walk around saying things like that and making bets about them!"

"You do know there's a betting pool or two around here, right?" Lang retorted with a snort. "Just 'cause the birds are weepy-eyed and don't have the balls to wonder what party-boy's really up to don't mean _we _don't!"

"I'm aware of the bets going on around here," William sighed, "But that doesn't mean that you can make a bet on everything and you certainly cannot invade others' private matters!"

Thompson growled and mumbled about "Preachin' hardass...whatever...stupid blonde faggot..." a little too loudly.

"What was that?" William practically snarled.

"I said, you preachin' hardass, that stupid blonde faggot can go shag whatever he-" That did it.

William punched him in the jaw as hard as he could.

That set off a fight between the three men.

William had not anticipated a fight breaking out, but he recovered from the slight shock quickly and defended himself.

Even with the unexpected happening, the two men were certainly not as good at fisticuffs as the supervisor and quickly went down when Lang fell to a relative glass jaw, while Thompson received a solid kick to the jewels.

William stood up and fixed his slightly unkempt appearance.

Thompson checked over Lang and then looked over to William, wondering just what the man was going to do now...anything from overtime to arrest...to dismissal...or worse.

William glared at them, wanting to fire them, but he knew that he couldn't. After all, he was the one who had thrown the first punch. "That's two weeks of overtime for you," he growled at them.

* * *

In the coffee room, Ronald let out a sigh. Some more of the secretaries had cornered him on the way over, having heard the news. Some had been weepy-eyed, some had been rather gushy, while a couple seemed a little jealous...and all of them wanting to know why. His answer was the same every time.

One of them, Tiffany, now said, "So, the rumor's true then about you...that your dating days with us are over. What about parties?"

"I'll cross that one when I get there."

"So...a bird or a bloke?"

"Huh?" he asked.

"That's what the others are wondering...they're taking guesses as to why the sudden change. After all, it was just this morning that you came by and dropped that on us."

The blonde Reaper looked her way, and then past her, as though looking at someone and replied, "Let's just say I have a _very _precious reason and leave it at that."

William walked toward the break room, wanting to see what was taking Ronald so long when he heard all the secretaries questioning the other reaper to death.

"Same reason, huh?"

"Yep, a very precious reason. That's what I've been sayin', and I'm gonna stick to it."

"Well," one of the others said, "Whoever it is is one lucky catch."

Tiffany sighed, nodded, then said, "I think we'd better get back to work, _now_. Take good care of yourself, Knoxie!"

Another nodded and chirped, "If you get ditched, we're always waiting...!" as they left.

William pursed his lip, quite annoyed.

Ronald shook his head and turned back to what he was doing. "Finally...and that tea's ready, just how he likes it."

William walked into the room. "What was that all about?" he asked.

Ronald looked a little sheepish. "Took a good hard look at myself last night, having to do with how I feel about you...which is why this morning, right before clock-in time, I stopped by and told the secretaries that I was done with dating around with 'em," he answered seriously as he handed the tea to William, "Of course, only a few were there and when they asked why, all I said was that I had a precious reason...and after earlier, I'd say it's a _very_ precious reason."

William took the tea. "Thank you," he said, though he didn't mean just for the tea.

Ronald's eyes went wide as he saw a couple of bruises forming on the knuckles and a couple other places. He quickly put it together and asked, "Whoever throw the first punch?"

William blushed and looked away. He was such a hypocrite. He had told Ronald not to throw the first punch, and he had not listened to his own advice.

He chuckled and said, "Ah well. I got a feeling that you had a good reason for it. Now you know why _I _was knocking down the real out-of-line clowns."

"Yes, I realized today that that's the reason you did so," William sighed.

Ronald got his coffee and walked to him, asking quietly, "You all right? Sorry about being delayed like that...I should have been there..."

"I'm fine. Just quite embarrassed." William took a sip of his tea.

"Why, for knocking down some clowns? They couldn't have been insulting you that badly."

"Well, I told you not to throw the first punch. I didn't listen to my own advice. And...they were not insulting _me_."

"Oh?"

William looked back at Ronald. "They were insulting you."

His face darkened at once. "Figures...hope they _really _got what for."

"Do they insult you often?" William inquired, seeing the look on Ron's face.

"Let me guess...pair of blokes named Thompson and Lang?"

"Yes. They've done this before?"

"They're snoops, and regulars at the betting pools. Thompson thinks he's some kinda Casanova, but he's a chauvinist pig. Lang's snide to the women, and they both tend to gang up. Me, yeah, but they also tried their stunts on a certain little brunet a few times in the past."

William's hands curled up into fists at the information.

"Of course, when _Eric _caught wind of it, he paid them a visit, wieldin' his Scythe. That put a stop to it."

"Well that's good to hear. Hopefully I got them to stop for you, but if they don't stop, I _will_ bring my scythe into it."

He chuckled and said, "Somethin' to be said about defending someone's honor, huh William?"

"Yeah, I suppose you are right."

After Ronald finished his coffee, he turned and started to head to his work station when he was stopped.

William saw that the other reaper was walking away, and he knew he wouldn't be able to work up the courage again for a long time. He had to say it now. "I...I think I may love you..."

That stopped Ronald in his tracks. He turned back around and smirked, though there was a softness to it, and the expression of honest care and love from before was back. "I love you too, William," he replied as he walked back to the older Reaper. "Just the way you are."

William gave a rare smile at that as he pulled Ronald into a hug.

The two-toned blonde wrapped his arms around him and grinned. "My precious reason..." he whispered softly, "An' there's no way I'm gonna let you go through things alone anymore."

"Precious reason? Why is that?"

There was a low chuckle. _Man...he hasn't figured it out, has he?_ "Haven't figured it out...? _You're _my precious reason that I've been referring to all along."

"I got that, but _why_?"

"Because no matter what the others think, I see someone amazing, brilliant, beautiful, smart...and just as deserving of love and care as anyone else. I'm not talking about just the outside, either...but the inside, too."

"You think all that of me? I'm not like that at all," William shook his head.

"Yes, I do think all that...'cause you are. You're hard-working and always doing what's best for us, even if most of us don't see that. Not to mention that if you had known about the blokes like those two sooner, you'd have probably stepped in when they were playing their stunts on Alan."

"I'm not the amazing person you seem to think I am. I've done horrible things."

"We all have as humans, and as Reapers...I'm not exactly angel material m'self...and Grell-sempai...let's not go there. Point is, yeah it's in the past and part of _who you are_. I already decided to accept it, no matter what." he tightened his embrace a little and ran a hand through William's hair gently.

William looked away, feeling like he was going to cry again. He managed to fight back the tears before looking back at Ronald.

"Hey...what is it?"

"It's nothing..."

Ronald raised an eyebrow, the expression of care and love in his face and eyes from before. "You sure...?"

William nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. It's just that I never expected anyone to think that I am a good person. It never bothered me, though. Until recently..."

He nodded. "Any idea what set it off?"

William shook his head. "I have no idea." He guessed it was because he couldn't bottle up his feelings anymore and they just exploded on him.

"Whatever it is that caused it, I'm just grateful I came by the office when I did."

"I'm grateful, too. I don't know what I would have done had you not been there."

"I do know what I'm going to do _right now_," he said with a little smirk.

"Oh? And what's that?"

"This." He lowered his head and gently kissed the elder Reaper on the lips, mentally giving thanks to God for making him go to the office when he did, and for making him look hard at himself the night before. Now, the next To-Die Reaper has a precious reason to change his ways and mature.

William kissed back, thankful that Ronald had come into the office before he could do something stupid. Ronald had become his precious reason to keep living.

* * *

The overtime had started the very same night...and once Thompson and Lang had clocked out, each found a simple note in their cubbies, written in clear, familiar handwriting.

The note was exactly the same for the two. The message read: _Insult Knox one more time and I will not hesitate to bring my scythe into the situation. -Mr Spears _


End file.
